" Limericks of the High Seas "

 

There once was a sailor named Xavier,

Who cared not for God or his savior:

He walked on the decks,

Displaying his sex,

And locked in the brig for indecent behavior.

 

There once was a sailor named Willy,

Who acted remarkably silly:

At the all-Navy Ball,

Dressed in nothing at all,

He claimed he was downright chilly.

 

There was an over-sexed lady named Whyte,

Who fucked dozens of sailors a night:

A seaman named Ledbetter,

Decided to Wed her,

His chance of survival is slight.

 

There once was a sailor from Racine,

Who bought a fucking machine:

Both concave and convex,

It would fit either sex,

With attachments for those in between.

 

There once was a young maiden named Rose,

With erogenous zones in her toes:

She remained unorgasmic,

Till a foot-fetishistic,

Young sailor became one of her beaus.

 

Skipper’s wife was removing her scanties,

Heard them crackle electrical shanties:

Said her husband, “My dear,

I very much fear,

You suffer from amps in your panties.”

 

There once was a girl from Samoa,

Who said to a sailor named Noah:

“You can kiss me and squeeze me,

But remember to please me,

I’m allergic to spermatozoa.”

 

( Fin )