“ Top Ten Ways to Get to Know Your Shipmates “

 We all know how difficult it can be to acquaint ourselves with new shipmates. Here are a few tricks of the trade I’ve picked up… some from working in the Master-at-Arms office filling out report chits to even my own personal experiences. I hope this list helps in your personal endeavors…

1. Break into their locker and look through all their shit.

2. Play the "Where’s the shitcan... I'm drunk again" game at 0400 in the berthing.

3. Dose their gedunk with methamphetamine … that'll get them talking.

4. Keep asking emphatically if anyone wants to play Strip Poker.

5. Walk around butt ass nekkit in berthing while admiring your penis in the mirror.

6. Blow up different colored condoms and decorate his / her rack.

7. Incessantly talk about Ping-Pong shows in Thailand or Donkey shows in Tijuana.

8. Masturbate vivaciously butt nekkit in your rack with the light and curtains wide open.

9. Keep saying things like “Gee, it sure would be nice to get some healthy man-loving tonight…” just before Taps.

10. Wake them up at Reveille with your skivvies down around your ankles and butt cheeks spread pretending to talk out your ass and say, “From one asshole to another, it’s time to wake up.”

( Fin )