On my very first day in the military, I was issued a comb,
then the Navy barber shaved off all of my hair that very afternoon.
On my second day in the military a toothbrush was issued to me.
That afternoon the Navy dentist yanked out all of my teeth.
On my third day in the military I was issued a jock strap.
I've been AWOL ever since and I'll be damned if I'm going back.