Saturday, June 27, 2015

‘In The Days Of Wooden Ships and Iron Men’

In the days of wooden ships and iron men an ol’ Salt was retired from the Canoe Club due to blindness!

Word was the local shipyard was look’n to higher so the ol’ Salt figured he’d give it a go… after all he’d been sailing the seven seas for years and new his lumber!!

So the next day the ol’ Salt went to the shipyard and asked the Master Ship Builder if he could have it a go! The Master Ship Builder realizing the ol’ Salt was blind figured he wasn’t cut out for this kind of job, but figured he’d have a little fun with the ol’ geezer and give him a test!!

They went to the docks and the Master Ship Builder placed a board in front of the ol’ Salt…

“Now tell me what you can about this here piece of lumber!”

… says the Master Builder! So the ol’ Salt took a whiff of the board and declared…

“Why it’s a number two pine, has three knots and it’s slightly warped!”

The Master Ship Builder was amazed, the ol’ Salt was absolutely right! So he placed another board in front of the blind ol’ coot and says…

“How about this one?”

The ol’ Salt took another whiff and proclaimed…

“It’s red oak, came from a hundred year old tree and it’s of great quality!”

To the Master Ship Builder’s surprise, he was right on! But he wasn’t quite ready to give this blind ol’ coot the job!! He had just one more test to give him!! So he had his secretary undress and lay down on the testing table!!!

“Okay old man, if you can figure this one out then you’ve got the job!”

So the ol’ Salt bends down and takes a strong whiff… but he was a bit puzzled & confused!

“Hmmm… I’m not sure about this one, flip it over for me so’s I can get another whiff!”

The secretary rolled over and the ol’ Salt took another whiff, then smiled…

“Aaah, you’re trying to trick me ain’t ya?!? This here’s an old plank that used to be part of a shit house door on a tuna fish’n boat!”

And that my friends is a nooooo shitter!!!

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