Friday, June 5, 2015

'Moral Of The Story'


A U.S. Navy Crackerjack in his dress blues walks into a bar while on liberty in some liberty port away from home while a grizzly look’n local yocal with a watch cap and a plaid shirt stares him down as he takes a seat at the bar…

 
“Boy, you look like you need a good ol’ fashioned ass whoop’n!”

 
… The sailor not wanting any trouble ignores him…

 
“I’m gonna brush your teeth with my dick when I get done with you!”

 
… Remembering the Chief’s words during his liberty brief he doesn’t acknowledge…

 
“I’m gonna beat your ass so bad your grandkids will be born dizzy!”

 
… To which our sea faring hero simply grits his teeth and orders a pitcher of beer…

 
“And when I’m done with you… I’ll screw your old lady in the ass and bitch slap your kids at the funeral!”

 
… The sailor clutches the pitcher as the bartender serves him and pours a glass…

 
“You’re nothing but a pussy marine!”

 
… while knocking over the Crackerjack’s pitcher of beer and drinking the glass that was in front of him, and looking over at the waitress…

 
“Get over here you fuck’n whore and poor me another pitcher so I can pour it over his head!”

 
… and THAT’s when the fight started!!!

 
Moral of the Story… ‘Don’t confuse Sailors and Marines and never mess with a Crackerjack’s Choice of Drink!!!’

 

 

1 comment:

  1. Happened to me. I missed quarters because of an accident. Nothing big just slowed things down. I was not alone another guy in my division was late too. I thought it must be alright another guy late and all. We were called to the Chief"s office. You know when your heading to the principals office and well you get the point. Thank God he the other guy showed up first. I stood at the door and it was the same as me. Traffic!? That was about the time the Chief tore into him! About setting the alarm sooner and Rath of God stuff. CAPTAIN'S MAST!!!!! OH SHIT I'm going to go to Capt's mass. I knew the Chief was a Vietnam Vet and a hard core sailor, so I did the only thing I could think of. I lied like man with a rope around my neck. This is how it went to the best of my recollection. When asked why I missed quarters? I could see by the vain on his forehead, he was building up to fuck you very much, Capt Mass!!! I asked if wanted the truth he said yes. "Well Chief I picked up a girl last night and was knee deep pussy when I realized the sun was up and I was going to be late. So I fucked her one more time knowing I might not get off the ship for a while! It all came out in one long sentence. That was about the time he spit coffee all over his desk, Choked abet then ordered me out of his office. I don't know if his heart grew three times larger that day or he didn't want to put (Knee deep in pussy) on a report to the capt? I didn't get sent to Capt''s mass. Oh I paid for it, extra PMS and a watch or two. The Chief had a fondness for me after that.

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