A U.S. Navy
Crackerjack in his dress blues walks into a bar while on liberty in some
liberty port away from home while a grizzly look’n local yocal with a watch cap
and a plaid shirt stares him down as he takes a seat at the bar…
“Boy,
you look like you need a good ol’ fashioned ass whoop’n!”
… The sailor not
wanting any trouble ignores him…
“I’m
gonna brush your teeth with my dick when I get done with you!”
… Remembering the
Chief’s words during his liberty brief he doesn’t acknowledge…
“I’m
gonna beat your ass so bad your grandkids will be born dizzy!”
… To which our sea
faring hero simply grits his teeth and orders a pitcher of beer…
“And
when I’m done with you… I’ll screw your old lady in the ass and bitch slap your
kids at the funeral!”
…
The sailor clutches the pitcher as the bartender serves him and pours a glass…
“You’re
nothing but a pussy marine!”
… while knocking over
the Crackerjack’s pitcher of beer and drinking the glass that was in front of
him, and looking over at the waitress…
“Get
over here you fuck’n whore and poor me another pitcher so I can pour it over
his head!”
… and THAT’s when the
fight started!!!
Moral of the Story…
‘Don’t confuse Sailors and Marines and never mess with a Crackerjack’s Choice
of Drink!!!’
Happened to me. I missed quarters because of an accident. Nothing big just slowed things down. I was not alone another guy in my division was late too. I thought it must be alright another guy late and all. We were called to the Chief"s office. You know when your heading to the principals office and well you get the point. Thank God he the other guy showed up first. I stood at the door and it was the same as me. Traffic!? That was about the time the Chief tore into him! About setting the alarm sooner and Rath of God stuff. CAPTAIN'S MAST!!!!! OH SHIT I'm going to go to Capt's mass. I knew the Chief was a Vietnam Vet and a hard core sailor, so I did the only thing I could think of. I lied like man with a rope around my neck. This is how it went to the best of my recollection. When asked why I missed quarters? I could see by the vain on his forehead, he was building up to fuck you very much, Capt Mass!!! I asked if wanted the truth he said yes. "Well Chief I picked up a girl last night and was knee deep pussy when I realized the sun was up and I was going to be late. So I fucked her one more time knowing I might not get off the ship for a while! It all came out in one long sentence. That was about the time he spit coffee all over his desk, Choked abet then ordered me out of his office. I don't know if his heart grew three times larger that day or he didn't want to put (Knee deep in pussy) on a report to the capt? I didn't get sent to Capt''s mass. Oh I paid for it, extra PMS and a watch or two. The Chief had a fondness for me after that.
ReplyDeleteBeen knee deep in pussy, made quarters... missed morning burnt offerings... But still made quarters...
ReplyDeleteI was second in charge in my division for daylight while in port! my supervisor,a first class ahole would write us up for anything while we were at sea! you were written up for being five minutes late from taking a shit! My last day on the job he called in and said he was stuck in a motel with a hooker and was going to be late would I please muster him in, I said hey no problem , Then I put him on report!!
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