A sailor had twelve bottles of rum in his cellar, and was told by his wife to empty the contents of each bottle down the sink or else! So he said he would and proceeded with the unpleasant task!!!
He withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the rum down the sink, with the exception of one glass, which he drank! He pulled the cork from the second bottle and did likewise, with the exception of one glass, which he drank!!!
He then withdrew the cork from the third bottle and poured the rum down the sink, with the exception of one glass, which he drank! He then pulled the cork from the fourth sink and poured the bottle down the glass which he drank!! He pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it and threw the rest down the glass!!!
By this time the old salt was feeling good about himself as he pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork from the bottle! Then He corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drank and drinked the pour!! When he had every one of them emptied, he steadied the house with one hand, counted the bottles, corks, and glasses, and sinks with the other, which were 29, and as the house came by he counted them again and finally had all the houses in one bottle… which he drank!!!
His wife looked at him and said…
“Look at You… Your Drunk!”
He then looked at his wife and declared…
“I am not under though alcofluence of incohol, as some theople pink I was!”
… she looked at him raising her eyebrows…
“And furthermore… Hiccup… I am not as thunk as you might drink… er… drunk! I felt so feelish, and I don’t know who is me, and the drunker I stand here the longer I get!!!”