"Screwed Up or Getting Screwed"

Yeah, I know there are many more out there. But I thought I’d list a few of the old sayings I remember from my days in the ol’ Canoe Club when it came to getting screwed. We’ve all been there and done that, so enjoy …

Run she may, but shine she must, There ain't no steam, but there's no more dust.

“I want my chain-of-command to be my gaudamned Pallbearers, just so they can let me down one more fucking time!”

“Shipmate.... if you got time to lean you got time to clean.”

Replacements are scarcer than honest politicians and the shame is we’re probably better off for it.

“Between you and me, neither one of us know what the hell we’re doing…”

“Assmosis: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up rather than working hard.”

“Always watch whose toes you step on because they may be connected to the butt that you will eventually have to kiss…”

“‘Status quo,’ as you know, is Latin for ‘the mess we’re in…’”

“Nobody ever said you had to be smart to wear khaki.”

“Whatever happened to good old-fashioned military leadership? Just task the first two people you see.”

“There are no stupid questions, just stupid people asking questions.”

"It’s not a lot of work unless you have to do it."

"Kissing his ass may not do anything for you, but it sure makes him feel better."

"I asked him the difference between true and relative bearing. He laughed and said you can't trick me with your fool's errand and walked off."

"I am so far down the food chain that I've got plankton bites on my butt."

“Alcohol is the Bermuda Triangle of our moral compass.”

"In my defense, I was left unsupervised."

"He who strives for the minimum rarely attains it."

"Here we are, United States Sailors, cleverly disguised as responsible adults."

"You only know as much as you don't know."

"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit!"

"The beatings shall continue until Morale Improves!"

“I never understood why they make the Deck force handle lines at Sea & Anchor in their Dress Whites! It’s like putting braille dots on drive up ATM machines…dumb as it gets!”

“If you are in a hurry, chances are the person you are relying on isn’t!”

“Believing that something ought to work is not the same as establishing that it will … but here we are!”

“You know, in this Command, if the world were supposed to end tomorrow, it would still happen behind schedule.”

“Strive for the bare minimum. Remember, there’s no competition at the bottom of the barrel.”

"There are times in your life when you'll have to eat crow. Actually, you don't have to eat it just hold it in your mouth long enough until nobody's watching, and then spit it out."

“Accuracy and attention to detail take a certain amount of time.”


Chief's Mess on an Arleigh Burke ... 

Forward of the Messdecks and Aft of CIC, paranoia became a mental disorder ...

Then there was that old Marine saying ... 

"Ours isn't to ask why but to do or die ... Semper Fi!"