Before I retired from the Ol’ Canoe Club I
saw a piece of crackerjack history disappear I thought would never find its way
to the scrap heap along with other oxidized, radiated & over rotated pieces
of Naval Paraphenalia…
You knew once the Navy ceased to teach Morse
Code it was all over... With all the marvelous electronic techno gizmos like
GPS, Super Far Out Frequency Satellite Comms and your everyday basic e’mail, I
suppose the ol’ flashes and dashes just became ancient history!!!
And in another move to socially engineer this
organization into the ‘PC’ world of the 21st Century our illustrious Canoe
Club decided to get rid of the ol’ Skivvy Wavers and mix’m up with the
Quartermasters… all in the name of efficiency… smart ship… work smarter not
harder or any of the other cosmetic sigma lean kind’a Bull Shit they’ve been
feed’n us!!!
Just like when they decided to put the women
on the ships expecting the Salty Horn Dogs not to be doing the fan room
hanky-panky in the name of professionalism!?!? You know I never had a problem
with women on ships… it’s just how the Big Brass went about it!!! Half those
women didn’t even want to be there… and they expect the ‘Crackerjacks’ to
behave like boyscout Leave it to Beaver types… it’s a big fantasy!!! Anyway, I
regress…
You could always count on good conversation
late at night on the Signal Bridge… the Skivvy Wavers were good for that! You
could always count on the placid shudder of the Signal Lights in the calm wind
of a warm night underway…
“What’s he say’n over there Sigs?”
“He wants to know the going rate of a good
pair of soiled panties over here!”
Yes this was your typical line of ship to
ship long range bullshitt’n sessions between the float’n cans… those damned
Skivvy Wavers were a bunch’a skates… but they say pick your rate pick your
fate…
I remember nights sitt’n out on the Signal
Bridge… a chance to air out the ol’ armpits and shoot the shit!! Always look’n
forward to that cup of joe… bullshitt’n under the red light… leaning over the
side observing the phosphorescent shimmer cascading off the bow… watch’n some
silly Ensign reporting to observe a ‘Sea Bat’… look’n through the
Big Eyes… awwww yes, the ‘’‘Big Eyes’’’!!!
There was something about the ‘Big Eyes’ that
brought the boy outta’ every man aboard ship… the girls too!!!
You couldn’t help but play with the damned
things like you’re on top of the Grand Canyon taking a looksee!!!
And it was about this time in my young
‘Crackerjack’ career that I remember doing ‘Ops’ off the coast of ‘San Dog’!!!
Late at night about three or four thousand
yards off the beach from Coronado… fresh coffee brewed… look’n through the Big
Eyes!!!
While taking in the Salt air and perfumed
scents of the lazy beach, your mind begins to go wily as you peer into the
balconies and windows of the Coronado Shore Condos and hotels… ever so often
you’d get a glimpse of some young gal doing the butt nekkitt fly’n Watusi… or a
sexually rabid couple try’n a nudie version of Barnum & Bailey’s Flying
Trapeze Act… or ever so often a couple a genuine skinny dippers outside the
Hotel Del!!!
“Whattya see out there?”
“I’m a work’n two contacts… both three
thousand yards at 280 degrees… both big and round and size Double Deeees!!!”
“Aww wait… message back… I intend to Ram you
with my Yokohamas…sound the collision alarm!!!”
“Aww you Big Eyed Peep’n Tom… let me get a
looksee!!!”
This was typical boy’s club type behavior… a
real ‘Navy Tradition’!!! Since then we’ve discounted this type of ‘tomfoolery’
as indecent and less than honorable… A young man can lose his mojo over
someth’n like this and end up with a less than honorable discharge… Hell
they’re kick’n boys & girls out just for not being in the right rate and
paygrade these days!!!
But hey, I’m trying to portray the nostalgia
of the Ol’ Canoe Club… before all the ‘PC’ stuff!!! Maybe that’s why they did
away with the ol’ Skivvy Wavers… there was too much skylarking and shoot’n the
shit!!! They had to get rid of any gathering place for horseplay and silly
stuff goin’ on!!! They’d better weld those fan rooms shut… plenty of
hanky-panky going on there…
Things that were so much a normal part of our
daily routine you could’a printed it in the Plan Of The Day… now it’s gone, a
figment of history!!!
Everything is being replaced by some
electronic whazzu intergalactic verbulator that makes it easy for everyone to
understand… even the enemy!!!
The Navy used to pride itself on the
‘Adventures of a Girl at every Port’… beer… broads… and dames… and more beer…
with exotic ports-o-call… ‘Let the Adventure Begin’… ‘Full Steam Ahead’!!!
Skivvy Wavers and Big Eyes… never would’a
figured otherwise…
Spy glass liberty.. Been there done that... as a OS with the SM's and QM's... LOL
ReplyDeleteLove reading about our history. I really miss those days. The comraudery you built in those ports with everyone including the knuckle dragging snipes and the deck apes. Things were more lazed and the ship ran like a smooth well oiled machine. Everyone looked forward to going out to sea and even more hitting the ports and getting shitfaced and have to have shore patrol dump you at the brow. I remember hitting ports and watching the line to sick bay get longer as the time in port went on just because "we were the UNITED STATES NAVY" and we didn't take crap from no one. And the guy that got dropped off at the brow, nothing ever happen to him cause his chief was t far behind him with another SP. Damn I miss those days.
ReplyDeleteDamn, Dennis! Your stories always take me back to some damn fine memories.... The "big eyes" we're also a great place for the port and starboard side lookouts to get a lil shut eye... Lol. Not that I ever did that..... Just sayin. Haha
ReplyDeleteI remember a visit to Acapulco aboard the "ol Gridiron", sometime around 1981, anchored out in the bay... when stuck aboard on duty, the "Big Eyes" were the main attraction, with all the hotels and the anchored "Loveboats"!
ReplyDeleteYour stories are entertaining, but as a visual artist, I really wish you'd at least give attribution to the artist whose work you're using. For example the image with this story is by the legendary pin up artist Gil Elvgre: http://www.gilelvgren.com/GE/
ReplyDeleteAnother gem Dennis!
ReplyDeleteWas a signalman aboard the Raliegh lpd 1 at one time or the other everyone hung out up on sigs bridge. I miss those days of the sea mist and nothing but the horizon on my mind
ReplyDeleteWe were "visit ship" in '71 at the old pier at the foot of Broadway in Sandy Eggo....the Republicans were holding their convention there....on the midwatch we manned the Big Eyes to look at the various hotels along the waterfront....saw some pretty interesting action in some of the rooms and even in some of the glass front elevators....
ReplyDeleteGreat rendition of fond memories! As a 14-year SM, your description is spot on. Some good times on the Signal Bridge. We were pretty popular guys during unrep's, passing personal messages between ships, and when entering port. Everyone wanted a turn on the Big Eyes. Thanks for the post!
ReplyDeleteJeffery Jones
Spent many of watches on the big eyes reading light. The old FTG anchorage in San Dog was a good place for big eye liberty as there where a few great hotels sitting right there prime for the viewing pleasure.
ReplyDeleteI retired in 1995, and I guess I was one of the last Signalmen. One of the last of one of the oldest rates in the history.
ReplyDeleteI always said the first rate was begun when someone realized that they could ride a log on a river. Thus was born the BM rate.
The second oldest rate was the Signalman, born when the person on the log waved at someone on the bank of the river.
The third oldest rate came about when someone figured out hoe to make the log go where they wanted it to go, and the Quartermaster rate was born.
Those three rates were the backbone of the Navy.
And the easiest, most laid back rate of them all was the Signalman. We called ourselves Bosunmates with brains.
I’m so sad that there are no more.
Heh. I do recall as OOD hearing our main battery director rumbling as it turned in port San Juan one night. Asked the duty FT what was going on and got the reply "PMS Sir". Since it was after 2000, and I was the Weapons Officer, the answer was less than believable.Sure enough the Director optics were on a nearby hotel. All I said was that they ought to fill out the PMS chit when they were done :=)
ReplyDeleteWe used to call it the Mickey Rooney canoe club. I miss the underway times. From a young seaman standing look out and helm, After steering,to Quartermaster of the watch,to JOOD, to other watched I can't remember, the lookout watches were the best. Fresh air, the smoking lamp was lit, tracking contacts, hearing all the latest info. I was on a the first ship on the east coast to have women on board. There was so much hanky-panky going on, holes drilled in the bulkheads, walking in to the female berthing without announcing Male in deck. Wasn't much fun. So, By the time I retired after 26 years, the Navy had changed so much, some not for the good. I was glad to set sail for another adventure.
ReplyDelete