Storytime mates, and it ain't no shit neither...
Gather round and I'll tell ya about way back when the Preacher was a starry-eyed Airman Recruit, back at the Lakes! Our company commander was a BT1 name of Bobby Ray, and he was a certified tinplated ass wipe… Got really physical on the guys!! Back then the CC's could get away with a lotta stuff!!!
Well, this one kid named Ahlberg or Ahlborg, somethin' like that, couldn't march for shit and one day Ray had him drop for 30 pushups! He didn't like the way the kid was doin' it, and every time he came up, Ray would stomp him down!! His dungerhall pants were dirty an' ripped when it was over and Ray gigged him at bag inspection the next day for havin' damaged clothing!!!
We all wanted to do somethin' but bein' new boots we just didn't know what to do! A few days later we was out on the grinder for some more marchin' and when we were doing an oblique, I screwed up!! So he pulled me outta ranks and started chewin' me out scream’n…
"Look at that other company - every man of 'em is doin' it right. LOOK!"
An' he took my head in both his hands an' snapped it to the side to make me look - and I went limp and let myself fall to the grinder!!!
Rifle gouged my finger but I ignored the pain an' stayed there without moving a mite! Yelling, Mass confusion, Ray scream’n at everyone to shut the fuck up!! Finally after several minutes some vehicle (didn't see cause my eyes were shut of course) roared up and I knew the corpsmen or docs had showed up!!!
Knowing they were gonna check my eyes I rolled 'em back and sure enough someone opened my eyelids and let 'em close again! They put me in the vehicle and took me over to the base hospital!! I let myself ‘wake up’…
"Wha... Wha... Where am I?"
Some doc asked me what happened…
"It was BT1 Ray sir, but I dunno what happened!"
Very vague so it'd sound like I wasn't really rational! I stayed there a day an' a half where it was just lie on yer back, take it easy, an' forget about marchin' an' inspections!!!
When they let me out and I went back to my company, Ray was a different guy… Quieter! No one got hit or stomped or even touched!! I don't think he got an article 15 or they'da replaced him...prolly just got an ass reaming but it did put the fear of God into him!!!
Two birds killed in one go… put the guy in his place and get some much needed skate time! Resta boots went fairly uneventful, plus I could do no wrong in the other guys' sight!! All right, tale's done, let's get this space squared away before liberty call sounds!!!