Wednesday, June 1, 2016

‘Dancing At The Boobie Trap’

This one was sent to me by a bubblehead! I hope you enjoy it as well as I did...

Most Floridians know these landmarks. A lot of them think of them as eye sores, but to female-deprived Crackerjacks, they were a shrine…

The 'Boobie Trap' was a bar designed specifically to look like a huge pair of tits! A bodacious pair of breasts someone just left sitting on the side of the road, in which lovely young things dance around taking their tops off and perform various gyrating acts in front of these very same sea going adventurers, exciting them to the point of stupidity!! There were several such establishments throughout Florida, the exact number I don't know, but this was one of them!!!

One night in particular, sometime in Nov '79, about three to four months after I got married, I visited one with a bunch of guys from the Daniel Webster (SSBN 626)! I had just converted from Torpedoeman to Missile Tech at the start of this year and was determined that these guys gotta realize that I was still a ‘TM’ at heart!!!

The night progressed pretty slowly... Guys drinking, girls dancing, guys whistling and cat calling, girls still dancing, so on and so forth… the usual drill! We were being entertained into boredom!! Next thing ya' know, one of our FTB girls (I can call him that, 'cause he ain't close enough to do anything 'bout it) jumps up on the stage and commences to dance with one of the real girls!! Oh man, the bouncers were there like ‘RIGHT NOW,’ but since all he was doing was dancing, the girl signaled to those guys to let him be!!!

Well, he danced with her and even stripped down to his skivvies! Now let me tell you, when he started dancing, the place started hopping, people started piling into the place and that bartender WAS working it!! So when this set was over the bouncers escorted our FTB outside... Heated words were exchanged but, no punches were thrown!! Seems the bouncers forgot to look behind them until after they were outside... They were outnumbered four to one!!!

We all went back inside and ‘JDAWG’ should remember this (even though he was just a little pup, but he was there), another one of our shipmates, decides he’s gonna dance too! This time, it was an "A" ganger... Short, stocky, looks (and smells) like a bull!! Our next Fred Astaire-wanna-be takes one step on his chair and one on his table (actually the edge of the table) and breaks the damn table top off, whacking himself upside the head so hard, he's down for the count!!!

We took him out back to the beach and the fresh salty air brought him around! In true bubblehead fashion, we all go back in for the rest of the night's festivities!! The next morning, Mr. ‘A’ Gang-table dancer wants to know why he has such a big egg on his nogg’n!! Minutes later, when we catch our breath, from laughing so hard, we tell him what he did!! He had a good laugh ('til his head started to hurt even worse)... Love them dance halls and them dance hall girls, the beer, the girls, the friends, the good times...!! Ahhh youth, to be young again and dance on the top of a table... With your drawers down around your ankles!!!

Bob ‘Launcher’ Lary

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