Wednesday, July 5, 2017


Alright… I read this story awhile back from an EX Operations Specialist named Carl Gumz from way back when in the Canoe Club! I got his permission to use his story in the confines of DanTheNavyMan’s little shit show of a blog!!  I gave the prose a little lubrication but it’s his story…  I hope you enjoy it!!!

Going through my good ol’ historical Canoe Club chests of memorabilia I started an archaeological dig for one of my favorite memories… pictures and scrap books of all the Crackerjacks I served with over the years!

There was a BM2 on our ship, I can’t rightfully remember his name! Anyway, I remember most of the liberty section was out on the town consuming alcohol and engaged in sinful activities!! Not BM2… He had too much personal laundry to take care of at the base Laundry!!!

Now BM2 was one of those fellas who got busted a few times! By God I swear he had three sets of jumpers … one for E-3, one for BM3 and his BM2 uniform!! Hell he’d been up and down in rank so many times he must’ve felt like a pair of whore’s drawers!!!

Well, on this particular evening, BM2 was spending his time at the base laundry and in between wash and dry cycles, those old overused machines took a long time to get the job done! So to pass this time, BM2 went and had a few barley pops they sold in a machine, kind of like a soda machine… but they don’t have it like that anymore!! By the time a few of us came back to base from our jaunt at the notorious Charlestown cat house called the Coconut Grove, we saw the base police all lit up at the laundromat and decided to check it out!!!

Now apparently ol’ BM2 had just a few too many of them Barley Pops and lord knows what else! He seemingly got himself pretty well lit and gotten into a fight and dirtied his duds he was currently wearing at the time!!  Being the well-dressed Boats that he was, he decided to wash the clothes on his back!! When the base police made their rounds they found our ship’s finest stark naked and wondering why the big fuss!!!

I guess the alcohol combined with his naturally inherent stupidity had robbed him of any common sense! And that’s how he became a BM3… again!! I swear you can’t make this shit up!!!


  1. Had a guy on John Young come in one evening most inebriated but quiet. Got undressed then decided he needed a smoke before bed. He went up to the fantail, smoke in hand but realized that his birthday suit had no pockets for a lighter. Fortunately his buddy FC2 was on the quarterdeck watch. So he strolled up and asked him for a light. He was escorted back to his rack and enjoined to remain there till morning. Luckily we were in Abu Dhabi parked on a pier in the back of beyond so no one saw him but the watch. He didn't get in trouble, although the Old Man did come by and ask him "Say buddy, got a light?" and then walked away snickering.

  2. After 50+ days at sea we finally make landfall- in Mogadishu, Somalia (of all the worst places you could think of), and the only place we could have a beer is if we bussed in to the Embassy... so guess where 99.95% of all the Crew eligible for liberty go???? After being to sea that long with nobody but your 550 "Brothers", there are going to be some shenanigans... and I have a few more sea stories there, trust me!

    This one, however has to deal with a certain FTM2, and let's just call him "Radar", especially since even though it isn't spelled the same, that is how it is pronounced!

    Radar is a big Norwegian Old boy, and comes back VERY loaded on beer... he strips down to his skivvies, climbs into his rack... I hear snores for maybe four minutes, tops... he climbs out of his rack, pisses all over the deck, and climbs back into bed.

    It didn't end there, but I'm going to hand the entire story over to Mr Swing for its own spot....