Tuesday, September 12, 2017

'Titsworth!!!'

In a recent message with an old shipmate, I was asked to help write a tale of his past that you probably wouldn’t find in today’s Canoe Cabaret!  Not without ignoring the ideological load of crap called political correctness!! A fun little story never the less … I hope you all enjoy!!!

Back in the day when I was a young whipper-snapper, I belonged to the Electronic Attack Squadron, VAQ-138, otherwise known as the “Yellow Jackets!”  We were quite the squadron back then and had a good ol’ hardy bunch of boys onboard our crew!!  Nothing like what you see today!!!

Well, VAQ-138 went to Fallon weapons week one summer way back when! The Maintenance Control was right across from another NON Sea going squadron that had women, one of whom was well endowed!! Now keep in mind, this was in the days when women were scarce in the squadrons!!!

 Our maintenance chief on duty was a smart ass as I was standing just outside the door and in earshot of this gal, he yelled...

“Hey Tits, get in here!”

She marched straight into our office and slapped the shit outta the chief! It too was glorious!! See, the kicker here is, my entire time in the Navy I had only one name...TITS!! Everyone from the CO on down called me TITS!!!

Why you ask, well, it’s my name... AK1 Titsworth! I had to produce my ID card for the woman and her Maintenance Officer!! It took a while to live that one down!!!

Hell it didn’t take long before it began to smell fishier than Lady Gaga’s Piano Chair! We horsed around on the sexual fringes at first like all young people do!! Then somebody got their knickers in a bunch and raised the Holy Hell Sexual Harassment Flag!!!

Nowadays I’ve been  thoroughly convinced… if you asked any man in the military today what the first thing he does before he opens his mouth and without fail you will hear "I look over my shoulder to see if there are any females in the area."

Trying to figure out the politics in the Navy of today is like drowning in mayonnaise…

Somewhere through their short course of history onboard, a few of these fine ladies have embraced the manner similar to a male locker room and made it their own! But most have gravitated to the new ways of the ‘PC’ Cabaret!! I don’t know where we are going with this, but Dorothy, it ain’t Kansas!!!

In the future Navy ‘Drag’ will be encouraged… maybe even required! I swear if I joined the Navy today I’d soon have to wear an armored bathysphere for personal protection!! This could change the whole meaning of sexual harassment in a nutshell!!!


11 comments:

  1. I loved being "one of the guys", I would not make it in today's Navy! Doesn't look like much fun and way too much training on PC instead of readiness.

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  2. I had to change the name of a "Snatch Block" to quick release block.

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  3. I went to 'B' school with a guy everyone called Titmouse.

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  4. I love the Navy back when us girls were a scarcity we worked hard and earned the respect of our shipmates nothing like telling the guys you are a Jet Mech I love it I wouldn't survive in today's Navy I love our traditions to much! Now tack that fking crow on HOOYAH!!!!!

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  5. I heard a story about one young sailor whom everyone from the Skipper on down addressed by his first name. One senior officer was in quite a snit, until he too learned the young man's last name. No one either in the Navy of yore or today's PC erosion is going to look at a 6'4" sailor, built like a tree, and call him "Darling" - which was his last name....

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  6. Our Quartermaster on our ship was QM-2 "Tits" Tillotson, I had no problem from anyone addressing me with my last name...PH-2

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  7. Boo freakin' hoo, gramps. "Back in my day, we treated women like objects and now we can't do it anymore".

    It's not being politically correct to show some f'ing respect to another human being. And if you think it IS political, then you are the problem

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  8. My brothers' nickname was TIT- Thomas Ia Turner. in Highschool people would call and ask for 'tit' Since Dad was Tom also, my response was "big tit or little tit?" Mom got real tired of that.. real quick.

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  9. Having served on the first ship with full time at sea crew (USS VULCAN)it made it difficult at times. Human nature would take over most of the time. Enlisted and Officer alike just couldn't help themselves. As a young single man and traving to ports there was advantage to this . But it did have its problems. The one that got to me was seniors coming to you and tell you to move over so they could try. Many a time i would be pulled aside and told to stay away.To this i didn't listen and it cost me my E-5 promotion. That was the early 80's. I have many stories of my 4 years but as it is the past. I know its way different today.

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