Checking onboard the Pre-commission ship USS MOMSEN I had many expectations on my first sea duty as a Navy Chief. I was looking forward to this tour as a newly bound Tomahawk Supervisor who had never set foot on a ship that even carried Tomahawks before. Coming to this ship I was the senior Tomahawk Tech with less experience than any of the guys who worked for me. I relied heavily on their expertise and 99.9% of the time these guys really pulled through.
But my first line of defense in the wardroom chain-of-command was a washed up aviator who had already spent eight years in the Navy as an officer and was a good four years behind his peers in the Surface Navy. Usually a first time Division Officer on a ship is fresh out of OCS or the Academy. But this guy was a second tour Divo who’s motto seemed to be “Wild, Crazy & Outta Control!” I’ll leave names out of this adventure as to keep the anonymous from hunting me down but most everyone who spent time on the ol’ MOMSEN way back when know exactly who this exploit is all about.
The first time I met this guy was in San Diego with a five o’clock shadow and a wrinkled piss cutter on his head. His uniform looked like he slept in it with wrinkles and stains and his breath reeked of hard liquor. I asked myself,
“What gutter did this guy crawl out of!”
We started off business as usual but all he really wanted to know was the best place to party and brag about all the babes he met last night in Pacific Beach. Yeah……I had some concerns. I’ve been there and done that, but at this point in my career I was a little afraid of how this guy was going to represent my boys in the Wardroom.
When ship’s company had made it to Maine where the ship was built, our illustrious Divo would boast of his many women and lewd soirees at his penthouse high above Portland, Maine. Not that there was any less senseless debauchery going on at the Atrium and Holiday Inn where ship’s company resided. But you can expect a few libations and some drunken carousal going on with the enlisted sorts.
After move aboard and an exemplary inspection by Supervisory of Ships on our turnover of equipment and operations the Divo invited our little group out to his upscale pad in the sky for a night of boozing and a baseball game downtown with the minor league Portland Seadogs! When we entered his place the lobby resembled a five star hotel. We traveled to the top floor where it was obvious he had the best suite in the building. He roomed with the ship’s Navigator who made himself scarce on this particular night.
For such nice accommodations the place had an odd mixture of sweaty feet, bad body odor and stale beer. But I had experienced worse funk in my past and delved in greater incontinence in my time so this was nothing new to me. But the stories the Navigator would tell of the ponderous women he would lure from bars and the obscene sexual feats he would partake in on the balcony at night. On diverse occasions the neighbors had lodged complaints of the noise and lewd behavior that emanated from the premises.
As if things couldn’t get any worse for the ol’ Navigator, my endearing Divo made an inane attempt at topping his own achievements on one particular night. While coming back plastered shit-faced drunk he decided to use the decor in the lobby as a urinal for his convenience. Unfortunately for him the proprietor of said residence had this all on video tape and took great pleasure in mailing the documented event first class to our Commanding Officer. Needless to say our brilliant Divo and the Navigator were both evicted from their “humble” abode for such insipid acts of barbaric proportions. I really felt sorry for the ol’ Nav! This was ol’ boy’s first account of tenancy abd this could make it quite difficult to establish a good rental history in the future.
On a personal note I’ve just got to say, this guy, our Divo, really wasn’t a bad guy! But for a senior Division Officer who carried the rank of an O-3 he was far off the mark from what the Navy’s expectations are of an Officer and a Gentleman. Needless to say, as the Divisional Chief I had to jump through my ass and claim ignorance on many occasions as this “Party Animal” of a lieutenant acted like a Frat House Party gone wrong! I guess someone forgot to tell him about Tailhook 91’
But my first line of defense in the wardroom chain-of-command was a washed up aviator who had already spent eight years in the Navy as an officer and was a good four years behind his peers in the Surface Navy. Usually a first time Division Officer on a ship is fresh out of OCS or the Academy. But this guy was a second tour Divo who’s motto seemed to be “Wild, Crazy & Outta Control!” I’ll leave names out of this adventure as to keep the anonymous from hunting me down but most everyone who spent time on the ol’ MOMSEN way back when know exactly who this exploit is all about.
The first time I met this guy was in San Diego with a five o’clock shadow and a wrinkled piss cutter on his head. His uniform looked like he slept in it with wrinkles and stains and his breath reeked of hard liquor. I asked myself,
“What gutter did this guy crawl out of!”
We started off business as usual but all he really wanted to know was the best place to party and brag about all the babes he met last night in Pacific Beach. Yeah……I had some concerns. I’ve been there and done that, but at this point in my career I was a little afraid of how this guy was going to represent my boys in the Wardroom.
When ship’s company had made it to Maine where the ship was built, our illustrious Divo would boast of his many women and lewd soirees at his penthouse high above Portland, Maine. Not that there was any less senseless debauchery going on at the Atrium and Holiday Inn where ship’s company resided. But you can expect a few libations and some drunken carousal going on with the enlisted sorts.
After move aboard and an exemplary inspection by Supervisory of Ships on our turnover of equipment and operations the Divo invited our little group out to his upscale pad in the sky for a night of boozing and a baseball game downtown with the minor league Portland Seadogs! When we entered his place the lobby resembled a five star hotel. We traveled to the top floor where it was obvious he had the best suite in the building. He roomed with the ship’s Navigator who made himself scarce on this particular night.
For such nice accommodations the place had an odd mixture of sweaty feet, bad body odor and stale beer. But I had experienced worse funk in my past and delved in greater incontinence in my time so this was nothing new to me. But the stories the Navigator would tell of the ponderous women he would lure from bars and the obscene sexual feats he would partake in on the balcony at night. On diverse occasions the neighbors had lodged complaints of the noise and lewd behavior that emanated from the premises.
As if things couldn’t get any worse for the ol’ Navigator, my endearing Divo made an inane attempt at topping his own achievements on one particular night. While coming back plastered shit-faced drunk he decided to use the decor in the lobby as a urinal for his convenience. Unfortunately for him the proprietor of said residence had this all on video tape and took great pleasure in mailing the documented event first class to our Commanding Officer. Needless to say our brilliant Divo and the Navigator were both evicted from their “humble” abode for such insipid acts of barbaric proportions. I really felt sorry for the ol’ Nav! This was ol’ boy’s first account of tenancy abd this could make it quite difficult to establish a good rental history in the future.
On a personal note I’ve just got to say, this guy, our Divo, really wasn’t a bad guy! But for a senior Division Officer who carried the rank of an O-3 he was far off the mark from what the Navy’s expectations are of an Officer and a Gentleman. Needless to say, as the Divisional Chief I had to jump through my ass and claim ignorance on many occasions as this “Party Animal” of a lieutenant acted like a Frat House Party gone wrong! I guess someone forgot to tell him about Tailhook 91’
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