“Sea Stories with Family & Friends”

Have you ever heard a name so damn recognizable yet so off the charts peculiar there’s no denying its familiarity? A year or so ago a short little Hawaiian feller checked onboard the Bangor Brig with a mighty bizarre last name. DC2 Bokuku!! How the hell can you forget a name like that? I asked him,

“You got family in the Navy ‘cause I sure in the hell recognize that name?”

I’ll be damned if his Sea Daddy and I didn’t serve together about ten to fifteen years back. We were shipmates who rode on the RAINIER from 1994-99, in the beginnings of that ship's career. She was a sweetheart and those of us who were fortunate enough to be a part of her knew she was a very special naval vessel with exceptional sailors in every since of the term. It was a hell of a good feeling to know we had that kind of crew on that kind of ship!

And I’ve gotta hand it to the young Bo! He doesn’t know it yet but he’s building quite a library of young sea stories himself. He hasn’t figured out how to spin those yarns into writing but he’ll reckon with it eventually and maybe one day he’ll write his own damn book! He’s always sit’n his happy little ass down and tell’n me some of his misdeeds as I interrupt him;

"Hell kid, I've wrung more sea water out of my skivvies than you've even seen!"

But I’m mighty impressed with some of his no shitters! His young brother serves on my last ship, the hapless USS MOMSEN! In contrast to the RAINIER, that was the worst ship I’d ever sailed upon. His poor little bro’ tells him all the time,

“Dad tells his stories and you tell yours from all the great times you had on great ships! I sit on my ship and ask myself. What the hell can be said about this place?”

I see things haven’t changed on the ol’ MOMSEN! Feel sorry for the younger Bo! Once a ship starts off bad it tends to live out the rest of its life that way!

The young Bokuku was tell’n me the other day about the family sitt’n round tell’n stories about Deployment and liberty ports like Thailand! His Pops tells him to keep his mouth closed when his Momma’s in the room. He-He!! Alas! Nothing like a temporary tryst within the arms of a Thailand bar girl. The sweet smell of iniquity in the city of knaves and harlots only known as Bangkok! But that is another story to acquaint you with at a later time.

You see, the skill of tell’n sea stories by no means suggests outright bullshitting! It would be more like 'truth manipulation'. Something I picked up in recruiting along the way. Just blame it on Zig Ziglar! Yep, the truth is supple. I once heard from an ol’ goat,

“God makes a pliable truth so that his sailors can fashion tales that entertain those who spend a lot of time broke, drinking beer and sniffing barmaid perfume.”

Those were some mighty fine words and the truth was never better spoken. You don’t get to take college courses on bullshit 101! You’ve got to spend your apprenticeship out to sea to earn your seagoing bullshit license! That’s just the way it is!

As far as Bokuku and his Pops go? It’s a small world and a close knit family in this here Navy! Beyond that fact this place has changed so guadang fast it’ll peel your eyelids back. I can only cherish the time I’ve served. Five years from now I will have to say the National Security Advisory Committee would be safe, cause for the exception of a few dogging wrenches, hatch hinges, and watertight doors, a tour on each new ship is like a strange walk through Willie Wonka's Chocolate Factory! Out with the old and in with the new! With stealth, where’s the pointy end we use to call the forecastle? I can’t keep up anymore!

Yep, It’s a kindler gentler Navy now! No more are the sleazy strip bars, beer joints, tattoo parlors and pawn shops right outside the gate. They’ve all but dried up. Kinda like Vegas, they’ve all went corporate on our crackerjack asses! No more late nights til 3AM eating breakfast a Denny’s or sleeping with some strange sweetheart! No more showing up to Quarters smell’n like a brew house refinery! Those days are all but gone. But I got mine! Oh yeah, I got mine!!

He-He!!